Remember the Seinfield “Soup Nazi” episode where in order to buy a bowl of soup at a popular soup takeout restaurant, the patrons had to go through the line and order their soup according to an exacting procedure. Those who failed to follow the rules heard the dreaded “NO SOUP FOR YOU!” Driving to Saudi from Bahrain and back has some similar elements. Those who have done it more than once have developed a system to accomplish the trip efficiently, but for first timers it can be a bit baffling. One thing is certain though, even the experienced must remain flexible as the system varies slightly from visit to visit and visitors must adapt if they intend to get soup. Perhaps this is how life always is for illiterate people.
Flying into the Kingdom of Bahrain, an island connected to the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia by a causeway, you get the first vague hint of what is to come. To minimize time and Bahrain visa cost, ask for a transit visa to Saudi. Passport control will ask how long you will be in Bahrain during transit, and based on your reply an apparently complex calculation is made, possibly with the aid of a supercomputer somewhere. After this calculation is finally completed, you will invariably be asked for 2 Dinars to have your passport stamped.
Next, at the rental car counter (of which there are only 2 or 3 that allow self-drive to Saudi – note Avis is not one of these) you have to make sure they know you are going to Saudi so they will give you the paperwork in Arabic that states it is OK to take the car into Saudi. Ask for a Saudi entry form so you can fill it out ahead of time and not have to pull over and fill it out at the border. (This is important advice for first timers. How do you know to ask for the form if you haven’t been before to know you need the form, you might ask?) When you get your rental car you will find that not everyone works on the pick it up full and return it full gas policy. The rental car will likely have a gas gauge registering nearly empty so your first item of business will be to GET SOME GAS.
Once you find gas, next stop, Car Insurance. If you have an accident with injuries or worse, you will probably be going to jail until they are sure you will pay up. Car insurance may help influence your period of detention. Car insurance is handled at a drive in window and there are 3 day and 7 day policies for short term visitors. Next comes a gauntlet of official looking border stops strategically spaced to confuse the Arabic illiterate:
Visitor: (Offer passport, nod and smile)
Border Patrol: “NOO, No, NOO! I want Money!”
V: “How much?” (Thinking don’t we all??!!)
BP: “2 Dinars!”
V: (Hand over the money) “May I have a receipt, please?
For 2 Dinars, you’ve got a receipt for driving over the causeway to Saudi. Next stop:
V: (Offer passport, nod and smile)
Border Patrol: “NO, the papers!”
V: “These papers?” (Hand over the insurance receipt.)
BP: “No, car papers.”
V: “These papers?” (Hand over the registration.)
BP: (Takes the registration and gives a piece of paper that has an ad in English on one side and something about the causeway authority on the other)
BINGO! With a choice of rental papers or registration you had a 50:50 chance to get it right on the second try! On to the next stop:
V: (Offer passport, nod and smile)
BP: (Stamps passport)
V: BINGO! Guessed right on the first try!
Good-bye, Bahrain. Next stop Saudi PASSPORT Control – it is even written in English:
Here the visitor is told to park the car, go inside, and then come back. “Inside” is across a number of lanes of traffic in a building that you just have to know. There you stand in line with miscreants from various countries until you reach the front of the line and your passport is checked against the computer and some numbers are written on your visa page. Then back across the traffic lanes, fight your way into the line of traffic to the Passport Control window, and have your passport checked again before you are sent on your way. Next stop, Saudi Customs:
Follow the customs agent as you are directed into a parking slot, get out of your car and wait to be checked. They want more paper, and by now you’ve got quite a selection. With a little luck you just might divine that it is the paper with the English advertisement on one side and Arabic writing on the other that is required. With that paper stamped, you are on your way. But wait, there’s another stop. What could they want here? Of course, as everyone knows, they want the piece of paper that you just got stamped at customs. We’re done now, wasn’t that easy?
The trip back is much more streamlined:
Pay causeway toll in Saudi 20 Rivals OR 2 Dinar
Show vehicle registration and get car paperwork
Show passport and car paperwork – get passport back and car papers stamped
Show passport and air ticket in Bahrain to confirm how long you are staying
Wait for complex calculation, pay 2 Dinars for Bahrain Visa (starting to see a trend on how much?)
Stop at customs, open trunk, get out and get car checked, show Saudi car paper
They rip paper in half, keep one half and return the other
Stop at next gate and give up the last half of the Saudi car paperwork
SOUPS UP!
Scenes from Saudi
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